


Never Letting Go

by FollowYourDreams



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Fix It Fic, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 16:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10948302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FollowYourDreams/pseuds/FollowYourDreams
Summary: Castiel is gone... Everyone is gone... But maybe it doesn't have to be that way.





	Never Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> I'm upset and pissed and hurt and betrayed and needed to cope. I don't care that they're bringing him back. I saw my baby's wings burned into the ground one too many times so I FUCKING FIXED IT! Fuckin enjoy.
> 
> Side note: If you really wanna fuck yourself up, listen to this while reading.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZsXcc_tC-o

Never Letting Go

 

  
A brilliant yellow light poured out from the windows, and Sam ran, knowing that it was the baby. Dean, however, was completely paralyzed. He stared down at Castiel’s lifeless form, and he was overwhelmed with something he’d never felt before. Over the years, he’d lost countless people he loved, and yet this was something new. As he looked down, they all flashed through his memory.

His father, though a selfish bastard, the only family he ever knew for _years_ aside from Sam. The man that ruined them sacrificed himself to save Dean’s life.

Jo and Ellen, two amazing, beautiful, incredible women, killed by an explosion that they used to kill hellhounds.

Bobby, the man that truly raised them. Seeing the Bobby from the alternate universe had reinforced how much Dean truly missed him. It was hard to believe such an amazing man was killed by something as simple as a bullet.

Charlie, Kevin, Rufus, Benny…Mary. And now, Castiel.

Dean sank down to his knees, no longer possessing the strength to hold up his own body weight. He looked over Castiel, searching for a sign, some sort of indication that Castiel had somehow survived. Instead, he saw the wings burned into the ground. He brought his gaze to the heavens, a silent plea for God, Amara, anyone to do something. When there was nothing but silence, the fierce ache in his chest worsened. He reached out, gently cupping Castiel’s cheek, and he remained there, frozen with pain.

No tears came. Considering how many people he’d lost, he never realized that you could be in so much pain that you _couldn’t_ cry.

“Dean!” shouted Sam as he came running. “Dean, it’s Jack! He’s—” he stopped, realizing that Dean wasn’t budging. He sidestepped to get a better look, and what he saw broke his heart. The light in Dean’s eyes was gone. “Dean?” he whispered.

No response. Dean kept his hand on Castiel, but that was it. He almost appeared to not even be breathing.

“Dean?” asked Sam again, and still nothing. Worry was setting in. He’d never seen Dean like this, ever, not even when their dad passed away. “Dean, say something.”

Quiet.

“Dean,” Sam moved forward, placing his hand on Dean’s shoulder and gripping gently. Dean didn’t react even in body language. “Dean you don’t have to talk but at least acknowledge I’m here; you’re scaring me.”

Dean could hear Sam, even feel his touch, but he couldn’t respond. It was like his entire being had shut down. All he could think about was Castiel. Castiel, the angel that had pulled him from hell, saved him countless time, sacrificed _everything_ …and all for _him_.

“Dean, please,” whispered Sam. “What is happening?”

“I loved him,” said Dean.

The words didn’t even faze him, not like he’d always thought they would. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that he’d fallen in love with Castiel, but he’d kept his distance, caring in secret behind closed doors. His deepest fear was opening up to those emotions, letting himself become vulnerable, and then losing Castiel. He hadn’t realized that all of that had already happened, right down to having to see Castiel dead.

Sam’s heart sank hearing his brother’s words, though he would have been lying if he said he didn’t know. He’d simply hoped that it wasn’t enough for Dean to shut down should something happen. Apparently, it was.

“I know,” was all he could think to say. “I,” he tripped over his words, trying to think of comforting one’s, though he knew deep down there was nothing he could do to heal Dean’s wounds right now, maybe ever. “I wish,” he tried again, “we can,” he gave up, choosing to instead kneel beside Dean. “I’m sorry.”

“I should have said something,” said Dean. His voice had begun to crack ever so slightly, and he realized that tears were finally coming. For once, he was glad to cry, to find that release. There was no other way he could possibly express this pain. “I should have told him. Even if he didn’t care, I would have at least gotten it off my chest.”

“Why didn’t you?” asked Sam carefully.

He turned his gaze to Sam, and two teardrops dripped out, trailing all the way down his face and falling to the scorch marks on the ground. “This.” His eyes found their way back to Castiel, and the breakdown began. He dove for Castiel, pulling the angel up to lie in his lap, and he wept. The sorrow was endless, pouring out with coughs and harsh gasps from struggling to breathe. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “This is my fault!”

“What?” Sam shook his head. “Dean this isn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it is, Sammy! I broke the seal all those years ago. Cas, he, he got roped into all of this because he saved me. He gave up _everything_ because of me! He never should have met me!” He clutched Castiel closer and let out a sob, his tears dropping onto Castiel’s cheeks. “He never should have saved me! Why couldn’t it have been someone else? Why did it have to be _him_?”

“Because I wanted you to have someone, Dean,” said a voice.

Both Dean and Sam’s heads shot up, meeting with a familiar pair of green eyes. Chuck.

“Chuck,” said Sam, a sharp gasp escaping. “What are, what, what are you—?”

“I’m here because I heard Dean’s cries,” said Chuck. He sauntered over, looking down at them all. “I’m so sorry about Castiel.”

“You let this happen!” shouted Dean. “You did this!”

“I did let this happen; I let all of this happen. I thought, with Amara on my side, everything would be alright. She and I have been gone, catching up and working through things. I never imagined things would get so out of hand while I was gone, but I’m here now.”

“It’s a little late!”

“No, it’s not.”

Dean looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”

He chuckled. “Dean, why do you think I’ve bought Castiel back so many times?”

“You…” whispered Dean, realization setting it.

“Yes, me.” He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I knew you needed him, and in the process, he fell for you too. So say something this time, will ya?”

Dean stared in awe, unsure what to think, it was too much. Then, Chuck kneeled down, pressing his first two fingers to Castiel’s forehead. An overwhelming white light flashed, making Dean and Sam shield their eyes for a few moments. When they looked again, Chuck was gone. They heard a groan, and Dean looked down immediately, seeing Castiel blink his eyes open and maneuver, trying to hold himself up.

“Cas?” asked Dean. He helped hold Castiel up to get a better look.

Castiel met his eyes, and a small smile played on his lips. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean didn’t waste another moment. He grabbed Castiel by the lapels of his trench coat and pressed their lips together, his heart nearly bursting when he felt Castiel smile.

Castiel pulled away only enough to speak, “I’m so sorry I was reckless like that. I wanted to protect you.”

“I know you did,” said Dean. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect _you_.”

Castiel tilted his head slightly, smiling at Dean with arched eyebrows. “It’s not your job to protect me, Dean. I’m supposed to protect you.”

“Nah,” insisted Dean with a grin. “I protect the people I love, remember.”

“Of course.”

They kissed again, cherishing every moment and movement. Dean now knew what it _truly_ felt like to lose Castiel, and he was never going to let go ever again, no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> *sigh* see, I'm fine now. I hope you guys enjoyed that little one-shot. It's been a long time since I've written for the SPN fandom, but I needed to cope. Be sure to leave a comment and pour out dem feels. I'll see ya guys next time. Bye!~
> 
> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FollowYourDreams19/
> 
> Main blog: http://phangirl-landphil.tumblr.com/
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97


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